Dave doesn't post enough!

Yeah that's me and I don't post anywhere near enough or about anything most people would be interested in. It's not that I don't have anything to say or that some of my ideas might not be a little bit interesting. I find I live in my mind too much and I get paralyzed and don't take action. I let circumstances dictate my actions rather then my actions dictating the circumstances. So there is a conundrum (I always wanted to use that word.) I am faced with here and it is me. For me to progress any further I have to get out of my way. Is this all too cliche or what? This whole blog idea is for me to get out of myself and finally start living again. I need to listen to my own ranting and raving even when it seems pretty pathetic at times. Believe it or not I am better then I used to be and getting even better. I am OK and what I do and feel matters. Listen up anyone who might stubble upon this site, thing are a changing. See Ya Dave

Suvival Mode

Taking care of the day to day stuff that needs to happen is what I'm doing. I am going to break away at some point soon and move to a better place in life. I will be unstuck and get on with living not just surviving. I am blowing it all up. See Ya Dave

I Know What I Have To Do

I'm struggling with the fact that whatever I do at this point won't satisfy my dear wife. I hate being negative all the time and I'm going to stop, that's what I have to do first. Next I need to get back to living a meaningful life. Being in limbo just sucks. The thought of giving up everything I ever thought I wanted and just hanging it all out in the wind is very scary. The thought of growing old alone is as sad as anything I could imagine. So where do I go with this?????? I just need to let it all go and that is very tough to do. Then I need to grow, as in move toward something a goal a dream anything. I am bored and boring and this is a big reason why my wife doesn't want to put up with me and why I am so down on myself. I stopped growing at several different points in my life, now it effects everything I do or don't do. I am at a stand still until I give it all up. Do I fight or give up or what is the combination that will work?????? Same old stuff and I can't stand it, sorry about that. As if anyone reads this blather anyway, I just bitch at myself. Very productive.

See Ya Dave