Too Deep?

As an aware human being with a mind, body and soul I truly believe we are required to process all input with our critical thinking skills. We are not gifted with this trinity of being that includes mind, body and soul to abdicate our responsibility to strive to understand God. God is everything in the universe and beyond without any limit this includes us. God is in us and we are in God. We are the consciousness, experience and awareness here on Earth as part of the whole which is God. Faith is fine and good and needed, but blind dogma without thought or critical examination is completely wrong. I am saying we must understand the way our soul decides what is correct after being filtered through our body and mind. All the data and information that is put in front of us comes through other humans perspectives and biases it can never be infallible or unquestioned. This means everything all books, all religion, all myths, all historical accounts, all beliefs, all science, all we see, hear, feel, taste, experience, I mean everything must be questioned and accepted or rejected by the soul.

See Ya Dave

On With It

So nobody is reading this, as I surely know. The only time I got a huge amount of hits was for my beautiful brown labs pictures. What I say really is just drivel and the pathetic rantings of a fast becoming old man. Well I ain't giving up on me quite yet. Actually I feel like there is hope and still a little life left in me. OK take me or leave me, but I got something to give. Even if it's only to myself. What ever the hell that means. Maybe I should post some more of my dog pics and then you all might at least see this shit. I do feel much more excited about the future lately and not for any particular reason. That is good. Here's some pics of Shasta.

See Ya Dave

Not Going To Hide From It

At times it may be easier and sometimes needed, but to ignore what's going on in the world near and far is wrong and selfish. The far off tragedies or the problem across the street are part of our collective reality and need to be pondered and acted upon. I was just at a church service or meeting and there was no mention of putting out prayers to the people affected by the earthquake in Haiti, it seemed strange to me. The people look different then us and believe different then us, does that make it easier to not look at? I don't know, but I do care and I feel a deep sadness that the human connection at the souls level is missing with so many people. Any way I am praying for Haiti and will donate some money to help.

A New Year A New Me

I finally looked up the true meaning of "catharsis" and I am studying it closely. See what you think and let me know.


Catharsis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Catharsis (Ancient Greek: Κάθαρσις) is a Greek word meaning 'purification', 'purging', 'cleansing' or 'clarification.' It is derived from the infinitive verb of Ancient Greek: καθαίρειν transliterated as kathairein 'to purify, purge,' and adjective Ancient Greek: καθαρός katharos 'pure or clean.'"

See Ya Dave

Made It Thruogh Christmas

Christmas has just past and the New Year fast approaches, what will this next year bring? I am hopeful and yet somewhat sceptical, it has been hard to accept what has happened financially in the past couple of years. At my age I should be thinking about retirement, but my poor planning and lack of foresight has left me kind of shell shocked. I had thought since we owned or were buying two houses and they were going up in value that by the time we got to retirement age we could sell off, downsize and live OK. Not now we owe more on the houses now and it may take 10 years to get back to even. Is it worth it? Not quite sure what to do. Lost 50% on my 401K's and who knows if my MCE shares will ever pay off in the end. So I go on to a dead end job that is very unfulfilling and barely covers my living expenses and I am thankful to have it right now. Where do I go from here? This is the constant question on my mind. My stupid pride has made me be less then truthful to my wife and has caused huge problems between us. I am not even living at my own house I am renting a room and this is another expense I can't afford. I miss having a life and having fun and working toward something. I am empty! I am ready for a complete change. I must remember there is a price to be paid for every decision and action or for that matter the lack there of.

See Ya Dave

Tough Time Of The Year

Almost everyone that knows me and my history knows why this time of year is tough for me.

I don't want to stay stuck in the past any longer. This is easy to say but my mind has something blocking me from overcoming these thought patterns. I am actively controlling my thoughts as best as I can. This is a constant battle to stay in the right frame of mind and not just let old patterns reappear. Over the years I have had good holiday seasons and also bad. My wife and children have had to deal with my mood and sometimes my need to just escape. At times I wonder how and why Mary has put up with me, she must love me. I am today fighting a very deep depression and I know that the changes in my life circumstances has a lot to do with it. I am letting everything mount up on me and it gets to feeling overwhelming. So as I go through the next few weeks I ask God and myself for some grace and patients. Have a great Christmas and holiday season and take care of yourselves, I love you all.

See Ya Dave

Am I Psyco?

Alright I don't know about you but I just love this show "Dexter". It is about as dark a premis as any show could be. I'm not going to go over what it's about or anything because if you don't know this show you just won't get it. Dexter is a metifore for every man's rage and need for control of course taken to as extreme as it can get. Anyway I love it and can identify with it. So am I sick or what?

See Ya Dave