So F'n Glad I'm Done With MCE

I always seem to need a push to move on to the next level. I am done with the crap I had to deal with at MCE that company was sucking the life out of me. They made some mistakes in the way they let me go and I am going to use it to my advantage. I will be off work for a while and I need it bad. Just now settling in to how my days will go and it takes some getting used to. I always felt that MCE was immoral and not treating their people right or truly living up to their contracts with the cities. They would squeeze as much out of each worker as possible and short the client in the name of money. I know I will be able to replace the lost income  
without too much trouble but first I need to get some things straightened out. On to the next level, oh yeah I am ready.

See Ya Dave

Older Worker Forced Out

I am about to turn 58 I am not a young guy but I am in great health and have knowledge and experience that is invaluable. Yet I was just let go at my job of 11 years out of the blue. As I look back over the recent past I can see the set up. There is new and younger upper management at my former employer and at our largest municipal contract that I was a foreman over a large portion. When I took over in that role things were not only a mess but out of control and no historical documentation on how it needed to run. The expectations and standards were raised much higher than they had ever been in the past. I know that my work had greatly increased level of service.

This is what's going on in the service sector especially. The older worker costs the companies more and has a sense of morality that is not always shared by the corporate world. The loyalty and years that most older employees put in to a company are not ever returned in kind. So I am not going to lay down and just take it I will do what I need to do to get what I deserve from that company. It is always darkest before the dawn. Day is about to break.

See Ya Dave

Forced Change

So it seems I only write on this site when a problem arises. I was let go at my job of 11 years they used up all they could from me and decided it was time to change. I should have been the one to leave quite a while ago. I have been seriously fed up with the way things had been going at the company for a long long time. It was 11 years to the day 9/11/2001 to 9/11/2012 that I was with that company. I gave them a chunk of my life and got no more than a pay check out of it all. Now the forced change, it seems I always need an extra boot in the ass to make the changes I really want and need to make. This is surely one of those times again. This is probably the best thing to happen in a long time and I am going to take this opportunity to step it up and be who I really am. Convulsions of life the uncertainty and mystery we are all along for the ride.

Puppies Make Life Worth Living

I had forgotten how something as simple as our dear Shasta having puppies could bring me so much joy. The  
day to day moments the little things that make life worth living are happening all around us all the time. For some reason it seems I just don't notice most of it and that is surely unfortunate. Anyway I am going to be aware and live the moments and do my best to not let them slip between my fingers. It's never too late.

Love Ya Dave

The Other Side

So after losing an old friend the question comes up as to what is on the " Other Side"? I guess your perception of this would be directly related to your religion or lack there of. I vacillate between my own interpretation of faith and the dogma delivered to us by others seeking power over us. I identify as Christian and I believe Christ teaching but I have a different way of understanding what I am hearing and reading. I very much believe God and Christ wanted and required each of us to use all the critical thinking skill we were given to wade through all the man made miss information fed to us. It all come back to God and Christ being LOVE and Christ saying the only way to heaven ( collective conscience ) is through him LOVE. The way I see it and understand it is that we are each a part of everything and that God is everything and if God is LOVE the only way for us to connect to God is through LOVE. The first 2 commandment in the Bible, 1) LOVE God with all your heart, 2) LOVE your neighbor as yourself. Need I say more? The Bible as I see it are inspired human words, good words for the most part and much truly prophetic but still human and need to be understood as such and used along with ALL other information and personal revelation to form a personal belief system. Take it for what it's worth.

Love Ya Dave

Lost Friends

Rest in peace Richard Earl Dade. So as I go through life I have had to remove myself for reasons of survival and sanity from situations and groups of people. Unfortunately some very close and very needed and wanted relationships have been lost. I always told myself oh I'll look them up someday we'll get back together for old times sake. Well those times don't happen next thing you know you are reading an obituary. Kicking myself in the ass and crying my eyes out. I loved this guy and he knew it but I didn't make the time or take the effort to stay connected. Now it's too late and I even missed the funeral. There was a time when this guy Rich saved me from despair and gave me family. I can't say too much more cause tears are clouding my vision.

MISS YOU OLD FRIEND

Back At It

OK it's been a long time since I wrote on this blog and I know it may be just futile and unnoticed. Anyway I still have a lot to say and have just been holding it in and hiding from the truth and at the same time isolating myself. At times I get scared of how I seem so disconnectted from everyone and everything it doesn't feel right. I have been through a lot of therapy, read so many self help books, been in groups and I still can't get it right. I some how let relationships just die on the vine and just get more and more distant. Then sometimes especially with my dear wife I actually sabotage our closeness. This is the one that really kills me, Mary is my only close friend and I seem to over and over screw up our marriage. I am also distant from my 2 older sons from a previous realationship that I had at a very young age. So that keeps me from being close to my grandkids. So the snowball gets bigger as it rolls ever faster down that never ending hill. OUCH I hurt and I am not alright with it. So I am back actively working on my character defects and am reaching out of my box to make some dramatic changes. Let's see how it goes, maybe that means journaling and blogging on a regular basis. Also reaching out to make contact with the people I have always cared about but have lost close touch with and right hear at home with Mary I love her dearly and want her to be happy. I know I must learn to be positive, content and happy inside myself before I can be a happy part of her life. Love Ya All