One More Time and One More Year

I DON'T WANT IT TO BE THE SAME!!!!! I AM BORED AND TIRED!!!!!  HELP HELP HELP !!!!!!

Do I Really Want Everyone To Know What I'm Thinking?

A big title for a small question. Am I going to be totally transparent and let it all hang out there, or what?
This is not as easy as it should be and the over riding reality of not hurting others by expressing your base instincts and unfiltered thoughts and feelings can stop you in your tracks. I sometimes feel compelled to just say or do what is right there on top of my head and then I must stop and ask is this kind and productive or mean and destructive. So the filtering begins and the questioning and second guessing and the shutting off for fear of negative repercussions. Ouch, am I really me or a watered down version of what I think people want me to be? It is my unhealthy judgement of myself and all others and situations and everything that gets me in trouble. It is the wrong thought patterns and a snowball effect or worse a run away freight train. It is so true "we are what we think" and allowing uncontrolled thoughts to run and ruin your life is hell here on earth. No need for thought police but a deep need for inner peace.

Love Ya All Dave

Oh Yeah I Get It.

Thank you all oh so very much for the reality check.

New Year - New Mind

Once again another year has past and I feel like I have not advanced as much as I think I should. In the coming year I plan to think differently. I am tired of thinking small and getting small results. The person I am meant to be is still hiding inside. So no more of the cry baby stuff and none of the putting things off or worring too much about what people think of me. I am out to get where I am suppose to be, but I must remember the journey is the reward, enjoy the trip or it's not worth doing. Anyway Happy New Year I love ya all.

Back From SoCal

Just got back from Southern California and I have to tell you I am glad to be back. It is just gorgous along the coast but you go inland and it just sucks, way too crowded, too much traffic and dirty. From Hunnington Beach to San Diego is very beautiful some very upscale areas like Newport Beach and then there are some smaller funky and very cool little beach towns. I could see hanging out somewhere down in there if I didn't have to go inland to LA. Anyway I will always love the SF Bay Area the city is just so different then LA and the weather is cooler and so are the people. I know I'm not the first person to say these things and I don't want to run down LA but the culture is much different. Just some thoughts and now back to work after a long weekend.

See Ya Dave

Settling for mediocrity

Well I don't know about you but I look around myself and say " HOW THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN" and I'll tell ya the first word that comes to my mind is mediocrity. The ongoing acceptance of less than the best from everything, especially from ones self. This is a stinging indictment of a life not fully lived and of potential never explored or realized. Very interesting concepts on a personal level but even more interesting on a more broad societal level. It all starts with you and I at the individual level of what we are willing to accept from ourselves. All too often I know I accept mediocrity from myself so how can I expect anything more from anyone else. This is the conundrum I find myself in and I am beginning to understand that it isn't the attainment of the best but the unending, constant pursuit of the best from within that is the key and makes it all worth it. At this point I am still very far from this state but I know that just the awareness of this is a huge step in the right direction.

I'm Tired

Life as it is is just sucking all the energy out of me. It just seems so rough to go day to day. I know this is being a cry baby and "Oh I have it soooo bad!' sounds kind of stupid. I feel run down and not in anyway appreciated. I am going to break some old not useful habits and start some new useful ones. That was a strange sentence. I have gotten myself stuck in this situation and I alone can get myself out. I am processing my options in my head and making a plan of action.

See Ya