Seattle Trip

Well this little get away was really spur of the moment and I got very lucky with air fare and rental car fees. I only knew about a week before that my brother was planning a party for Marilyn's 60th birthday and Bryonne's high school graduation. So I had to act fast if I was going and I did and it was great seeing them all. Time is just slipping by so damn fast and we all still bear the scars from our screwed up childhood. It really is a shame, I have done a lot of work on myself to deal with all that shit and I surely am still messed up. It is hard to see it in my brothers and sister and know some of the turmoil that must be going on inside them too. I had some really good talks with Gary, Shannon and Bobby we always seem to get pretty deep it's just hard to rehash some of that old stuff. Not having a good father model or a functioning marriage relationship to learn from has taken a toll on all of us and in similar ways too. I pray for us all that the rest of our lives will be more content and we may be able to put the past where it belongs, in the past. It was a good trip back and I kind of went looking on my own for some of the landmarks of my past, not much of it left. My old house on 123rd Pl. gone, couldn't find my grammar school or little league field, did find Cleveland HS and what's left of Dave's Drive In it's a junk lot and the HS doesn't even look like the same place. So what did I expect anyways? Well the old saying about you can never go back, well you can but it's not the same, not even close! So why do we do it and keep it in our heads like we do or at least I do? I've got no answers really other than "Be Here Now" as Ram Das wrote about some 40 years ago. I think this is a part of my catharsis and a needed reality check. The past is gone stop living there.

See Ya Dave