Opening Up to the World

Here I am at 54 and feeling like a kid still, inside I'm not much different then I was 30 years ago.

This is a problem of my own making and something I have hidden from for all those years. I went through the expected motions, yet I now I have stifled my true potential. I don't think it is ever too late to pick up the pieces and build a new. It is a bit harder as you get older because you get set in your ways and complacent or lazy is a better word for it. I have never been much of a planner and this has affected every aspect of my life and relationships and the way I feel about myself. So at this point, as at many others in my life I am being forced to change and to plan and I can and will do just that. It is interesting that it take a crisis situation for me to get it and move and grow. I have always heard that you must "must let go of what you want most" or you will never truly experience it to it's fullest. So I take that to mean all of it. When you cling to anything it is likely to be ripped from your hands. So to accept what comes my way and head in the direction of my desires with out being obsessed with any certain outcome seem to be the key. Also to engage people and relationships and learning without giving in to your fears, insecurities or above all expectations is the way I want to go. This is easier to say and write than it is to do and first off it does pose some very real risk and vulnerability. See Ya Dave