Nobody Sees This Or Cares

Yeah that's right and why would anyone. I am boring and bored, I can't get out of this hole and I keep on digging. So I am sitting on the pity pot (I hate that saying) and don't know what to do next. I just can't seem to keep my finaces straight or make more money to pay off my debts. This is a constant problem in my marriage and rightly so. It is the same old story of my life.

IT SUCKS !!!

See Ya maybe Dave

Recent Thought Process

So I have been thinking and kind of I guess evaluating how I want the rest of my life or at least this next stage to go. At my age at times it seems like my choices are limited but my limitations come from inside my head. I choose to take actions and I choose to become who I can truly be. I was looking at some of my old writings and what my dreams and goals (well I can't call them goals if I never planned for or took action on them) and I found much of my old ideas are still in my head and in my heart. I feel a renewed vigor and possibility coming from within me, with this comes a confidence that I haven't felt in quite a while. I know and have to constantly remind myself that I get stuck at the contemplative stage and avoid or just don't take the action steps so consequently nothing of substance happens. This in so many way is the story of my life and has held me back from becoming who and what I am supposed to be. I have no one to blame not even myself it just is what it is or more aptly put as it used to be. I am taking the steps though small they may seem at the moment to move my life toward what it can be. It is not too late and all is possible, trust and push on.

See Ya Dave

Quite a spring & summer

Just a note to share my busy and very event filled past few months. So Mary and I have reconciled, Brian, Amanda and Steve graduated from college, Amanda and Steve got married, all the kids moved out of our Chico house, we fixed up the house and got it rented out, we had our 30 year anniversary, we went to Iowa for Eugene and Sara's wedding and we bought a boat. So this has been a life changing time in my life and I have hope for the future. None of this is easy and it all takes risk but it is so much more fulfilling then mediocre acceptance of the illusion of security. On with it.

See Ya Dave